“Originally Posted by Jozen-Bo
Trecena Observation #4 (13*3 day counts)
March 2nd, 2008 - March 14th, 2008”
Free Words:
I am writing this 3 days late. Its been a LONG 13 days. Longer then the last when I consider how the time went by so slowly. I spun consistently for the first seven days, trying to get back to the place where I was before. Then, I had bitten off a chunk too big to chew and had too much to do. I missed the last 6 days.
A lot of thoughts have been stirring in the deeper regions of my mind these last days. I can feel this process more then I usually do. I seemed to be adjusting just prior to stopping. It was getting easier to watch the wheel spin, but the longer days weren't so easy at times.
Because I have stopped, my senses and nerves have dulled. I don't feel the pains of discharging deep cellular poison so much, because my body isn't actively discharging them as much.
I also haven't been having much unusual sight activity in my vision, though I have noted some. The main thing I have noted is a feeling that the effects where sinking into my mind, I could feel this. As they settle, I feel a chain reaction of thought processes occur. The complexity of these reactions and the inner flashes of vision in my mind cannot be clarified.
I have noted that my sense of smell has been much better then normal. I have been smelling things prior to them being where I can smell them. Sometimes its seems as if I am smelling scents from some place so far away, I won't bother mentioning how far.
I have to get stricter about keeping up with the spin. I have to finish that last tiny bit of code of the 2nd revolution. Its like a car that won't run unless everything is working. If this 'car' is missing the ignition, how can I start the car?
As if my problems to juggle weren't enough, I was working as a Temp and just ran out of work, I have prepared enough maps so that the firm won't have to worry about making maps for some time. Without being able to provide me much work, they let me go. The rotten thing is, is that they didn't give any warning, I had moved from one city to the next, this took a great deal of time, energy and money. The firm had no plan for keeping me, but they should of told me 2 months in advance (its the right thing to do!).
Now I have 2-4 weeks to find work fast or the cost of living will pile over my head and I will be packing. My wife is scared, she is struggling with much uncertainty. That she is 4 months pregnant makes the situation 1000 times more frustrating for me. My thoughts are cursing this place for jeopardizing us as they did...most of the people in the firm who knew me were shocked and saddened by the news of my departure(and they are pardoned from my cursing thoughts). Only one person was dancing around and giggling like a little girl, the one who flirted with me only to be turned down. I am married. Being my immediate supervisor, she was in a position to pull strings. This kind of cr@p happens everyday in the real world. Sigh...
It is very frustrating to be looking for jobs that aren't were my heart is at, which is in this research. I have been studying for so long, though that normally doesn't matter too much, but my knowledge and experience have turned into something that should be put to better use. Well...at least I can say that without my help, should the authorities decide to investigate this Mind Portal later on, they won't get very far. I have been careful not to disclose too much, not even 1%. There are things I am aware of that would take them forever to figure out.
I might seem to be digressing, but this does tie into the overall frame of consciousness, it prepares for better understanding later to come as the changes occur. I won't have as much time for some time. I hope to change this soon.
Maybe this world isn't going to see where this goes, maybe our time will only see a glimpse. Perhaps I should start knocking on their (the government) doors again (they sort of looked the other way the last times). I am tired of the b*llsh!t of losing my life for the wrong reasons.
NOTE:I have shaved 2 times during this 13 day period.  |