Hi I'm Matthew. I semi-regularly contribute to a blog,
AMNAP, which is mostly about psi phenomena, and I occasionally write comments and messages on other blogs and fora.
I have always been very interested in science. Ever since the middle grades, my goal was a career as a scientist. I was an inveterate bookworm, and spent many hours curled up in some cushions or sprawled on a couch, reading about astronomy, biology, or other aspects of the natural world. Later on in high school I took a geology course, and the opportunity to study science and also spend time outdoors (which has also always been something I love to do) made it easy for me to decide, on the spot, that I would become a geologist.
I studied geology in school. My academic qualifications were very good, so a career in academia seemed on track. I became good friends with several of the professors, most particularly a brilliant crystallographer and minerologist who I had learned more from than any other teacher. But as I got to know them better, I got to find out more about the way academia really operates. The social system that was all about grant proposals and publishing quantity, not important discoveries and quality of research. When my mentor failed in his bid for tenure, I knew that I would never go into academia. And so I finished my undergraduate degree in geology and left school behind, sadder but much wiser about how the world works. . .
Graduating in 1992, I soon found that the world was not my oyster. After completing an internship at the USGS, I found the opportunities with a B.S. in geology did not interest me. I did not want to go out to potential construction sites and examine soil samples, nor was I interested in groundwater sampling around Superfund sites. This was not why I had entered geology. So I bounced around a few odd jobs, including a brief stint selling books to teachers and libraries, tried to go into business with some friends, and ended up getting married and having my first kid. My wife quickly realized that I needed a real career, and encouraged me to enter the computer field. I had been writing computer programs since the age of 11 when I got my first computer, a Commodore VIC-20. I was able to get work in the field and after a couple of years, a full-time development position. And that is the field I have been working in for the past decade.
I have always wanted to know "how things work", and for many years I had been questioning how organisms could possibly work. I mean, I understood DNA, transcription, ribosomes and all that, but it seemed clear to me that you couldn't explain biology with just those ideas. I wanted to know how development work, how morphogenesis happened, how cells knew where to go and what to do. And it was clear to me that the standard explanation of "little machines doing there thing" was just a mystery, and that understanding how this stuff worked was the key to biology, not just the relatively boring facts about genes and proteins.
One day in college I came across a book by Rupert Sheldrake: A new science of life. I devoured it and had a sudden "aha" feeling. So this explains biology. It's not just machines! Life reflects field behaviors, not just chemistry and contact mechanics. His book
The presence of the past is the best introduction to his field theory of biology for those interested.
Around that time I had my first really compelling psi experience. I was working as a research assistant to a geologist out west, and we were camped in southern Utah. During the days we went out and extracted samples and measured rock stratigraphy. One evening we got back to camp and I decided to remove my boots and walk around the camp barefoot. There were some nice large rocks near the campsite, and I went out to them to sit and enjoy the early evening. After I finished I started carefully walking back to the camp. Since I was barefoot and we were in a desert area I decided to stay on the rocks, where there was no chance of treading on a cactus plant! Suddenly I stopped picking my way from rock to rock. Looking ahead, I somehow "knew" that the next rock was dangerous, that there was a rattlesnake coiled in the shadow, and if I stepped down onto it I would get bitten. That's silly, I thought. If I don't step down then I will have to walk on the sand, and might easily step onto a poorly visible small cactus. I tried to continue on the rocks, but was simply unable to. I stood there a minute, trying to make myself continue on the rocks, but I was not able to. My mind had "decided" to ignore the warning about the invisible rattlesnake, but my willpower was unable to start moving to the next rock. Finally I gave up, irritated and annoyed that I was going to have to walk on the sand, very carefully, and hopefully not step on any thorny plants or cacti. I slowly made my way around to where I could observe the hidden area of the rock I had refused to step down to. Boggling my mind, there was a rattlesnake coiled up there. If I had stepped down in my bare feet I would almost certainly have been bitten!
Later on in college I had
some even odder experiences:
Quote:
In 1990 I was sitting with some friends in the Rathskeller, a favorite nachos-and-toppings hangout next to the NCSU campus where I was enrolled. Suddenly I had a strong feeling of deja-vu and I recognized the couple sitting at the next table over. Because the experience was stronger than previous deja-vu experiences I wondered if it would be possible for me to actually predict what was going to happen. I realized that I could "remember" what was going to transpire. I said to myself "that woman is about to say: " and came up with a 12-15 word sentence that I remembered her saying. About 5 seconds later, she turned and uttered exactly the sentence I "remembered".
In 1991 in another cafe, Elmo's Diner in a nearby town, I had exactly the same experience. Again, I "remembered" what a woman sitting at a nearby table was about to say to the man sitting with her. Again, she said it, word for word, about 5 seconds after I recalled the words I "remembered" her saying. In neither of these cases did I know the woman or her companion.
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I've periodically had interesting telepathic experiences, mostly with my immediate family. Many could be coincidence, but a few were so specific and detailed that it seems very unlikely.
I am interested in parapsychology, but I have a lot of other interests and responsibilities that compete, such as family, career,
nature photography, and the
non-dual nature of reality.