Hello.. Eh.. Going through a blessing yet with external forces a curse.. Curse is paranoia but rest assured minimal paranoia.. Well my name is Fenix and currently live in New York.. This will seem very bizarre about how I will put all this but.. here it goes.. I have been researching many topics about the discoveries of our world and the conspiracies of the undiscovered.. Well in the midst of it all, I am constantly monitored and seen as some acclaimed "prohphet" or "savant" not sure how to take it all in.. Well I, being myself just live my life and attracted way too much attention.. I understand that I growing in clairvoyance and telepathy.. but my experience is picking up thoughts.. not reading a mind.. Which I feel I pick them up solely based on the fact that they are strong thoughts focused toward me.. I am like a "walking celebrity" and I cannot stand it, as of now.. The same reason they flock and cover my movements, is the same reason I become overwhelmed.. I also identify as transgender and I deal with not just finding myself in expression but constant pressure to meet others standards.. I seriously am searching for some people to relate to.. I cannot get away.. even if I go the library (where I am).. They are ignorant to the fact that with clairvoyance and w/e I may be going through.. it really is overwhelming to have continuous people involved in my life.. especially with subliminal messages of certain store brands, tactics to ease my stress.. I plan on joining the army because it feels to be my only way to evolve and lessen up the energy directed towards me... Empathy, I understand it much more fully now.. I try in my attempt to demonstrate that I have a 6th sense.. but they seem to want to test me, or just simply be na´ve to what it TRULY is.. [I know this is coming off very schizophrenic and paranoid] that is what makes it hard to gain respect, and when I claim that people follow me.. I just come off even more crazy.. Well rest assured I am not.. With so many people involved they repeatedly FAIL to communicate thoroughly so it just continues and continues and it is VERY draining.. it irritates me because people are involved yet do not know what they are doing.. underestimating me.. UGH the price of fame and being talented in these attributes.. I just want to go numb... become invisible.. I can hardly live my life.. they believe that through changing their "tactics" that they can be "smarter" and delude my vision of all that is going on.. I want them to lose faith in me.. they fail to be honest or confront me in a respectful manner.. what can you do..? Ugh.. losing more and more and this all continues... last friend believes I am crazy and because of these people.. really is a wow factor... and no one ever admits.. I hate walking these streets, I just want to get away.. Maybe they will call me crazy and just leave me be.. YAY! I really just want to get away.. Shielding does some good but I really mean SO many people!!.. I am so much more antisocial now.. ugh... I feel everything, but they think because I read a book, scribble on paper, walk passed them, smile w/e it be they think I am unaware.. I am always aware.. ALWAYS.. and I have excellent peripheral vision.. I am such a victim of "what you don't know, wont hurt you" well.. news flash.. I know.. and they toot their own horns about their own expectations of what I should be able to accomplish and know.. therefore putting out tests that just annoy me further.. the classic "if you're so clairvoyant, you should know this".. Oh and just to clarify a bit about "they" and the following.. It includes sponsorship, a program that has an outreach program (monitor as in safety).. etc... and individuals who merely just want to help.. but they will not know that I notice and respect it.. but it is just too much.. They really need to relay information to one another better.. instead of who they think I am.. and I am a vegetarian and they think I have this grudge against McDonalds.. weird.. but I need to vent... I guess no one can help me here.. but venting and knowing others see, is enough.. Funny because dealing with younger people in a much more mature situation than they can handle, comes with gossip and drama.. Lies and half truths.. To the transgender.. not only do I have society to deal with, but people in my personal life.. People think I am not transgender, as if I do not know myself.. (certain group I deal with) they have little KNOWledge about me or who I am attracted to but these assumptions just continue.. Now, sum that up with clairvoyance, telepathy and empathy... You comprehend the shade and it wears you down.. Generally typing.. these people annoy me.. I have lost so much trying to get away from everyone, and more and more people become involved in my life.. and they wonder why I come off sorta pissed off.. quiet and reserved.. nobody is helping, their help is not understanding the true experience... Yea, till another time.. Tiny, very tiny brief explanation of my experience.. thus far..
No announcement yet.
This is a sticky topic.