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Struggling with my depression because of my empathy

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  • Struggling with my depression because of my empathy

    Hi to whomever reads this,

    I am not a "blog" or "forum" type of person. My mother has always said I am "psychic" or a "sensitive." I am not sure who or what I am or even if it matters... All I know is the pain I feel daily and how I try to self medicate myself... whether with prescriptions or other means...
    A little about myself... As a child I never felt like I fit in ( as most do ); I would stay up at night trying to think through the days events and how I could have been more normal. The other reason I stayed awake was because I was afraid of being "visited," "touched," "or spoken to." Until i was around 18, i slept with covers over my head and prayed until i fell asleep. I could go into every detail but I would have to right a novel. As I got older the visitations stopped but I can still sense when a spirit is present, and I still have night terrors.
    As an adult, I suffer from severe depression and "wine abuse" and occassional pot smoking. Drinking quiet's my mind... Forgetting or distracting seems to be my only peace. As a teenager, I would drink for the same reasons except it produced traumatic events. On my 15th birthday i tried to commit suicide because the pain was so immense. Around 20-21, I started taking anti-depressants regularly. I wonder if the anti-depressants are really for my depression or just stifle my "gifts?" Maybe they are the same thing. Nothing seems to stop the empathy, but the anti-depressants seem to help me cope better and not try and "escape" as much. Does anyone else have this problem? Am I normal? Does anyone understand? I have searched the Internet, but I have not found help on how to control or deal with these feelings. This sounds awful but how do I stop caring? How do i stop feeling? How do I let go so I can live finally?

  • #2
    Hello Lost 3119, nice to find you here

    Originally posted by Lost3119 View Post
    Hi to whomever reads this, I am not a "blog" or "forum" type of person. My mother has always said I am "psychic" or a "sensitive." I am not sure who or what I am or even if it matters.
    Of course it matters!

    .. All I know is the pain I feel daily and how I try to self medicate myself... whether with prescriptions or other means...
    Physical pain of course will wear the mind down. For mental pain, medication seldom ever works. There are ways to reverse both.

    A little about myself... As a child I never felt like I fit in ( as most do ); I would stay up at night trying to think through the days events and how I could have been more normal.
    I think this is fairly common .... but don't worry about being normal ... it is better to become exceptionally good in some way, leave the 'normal' to the talentless

    The other reason I stayed awake was because I was afraid of being "visited," "touched," "or spoken to." Until i was around 18, i slept with covers over my head and prayed until i fell asleep. I could go into every detail but I would have to right a novel. As I got older the visitations stopped but I can still sense when a spirit is present, and I still have night terrors.
    Real spirit phenomena exists ... however sometimes 'night terrors' are often semiconscious hallucinations. I used to get these in my teens. The body is normally paralyzed to prevent sleep walking during dreaming. Due to feeling vulnerable semi-conscious state unable to move, this can develop into frightening nightmares ... The solution being, when the fear goes, the negative stuff goes with it.... so whether it is real paranormal phenomena or just a nightmare .... it is the same solution, think of positive, pleasant things, (pray positively if you want) the negative stuff will evaporate and you will instead feel invincible.

    As an adult, I suffer from severe depression and "wine abuse" and occassional pot smoking.
    Not anymore, you have decided to stop. Tomorrow, you are going to drink a pint of water first thing in the morning, then go for a short walk, come back home write a list of goals you want to achieve in life, ignore negative people around who might discourage you (don't even tell them about your goals) .... and become a hero And like all exceptional heroes, even if you fail one day, you just start the next day working towards these goals.

    Drinking quiet's my mind... Forgetting or distracting seems to be my only peace. As a teenager, I would drink for the same reasons except it produced traumatic events. On my 15th birthday i tried to commit suicide because the pain was so immense.
    I'm sorry to hear that. Please, don't do that. Reportedly those who commit suicide (or don't believe in an afterlilfe) often have problems adapting in the next world (I could quote cases in research) ....anyway you survived, so you succeeded.

    Around 20-21, I started taking anti-depressants regularly. I wonder if the anti-depressants are really for my depression
    Go see you doctor and ask if you need to be on anti-depressants. But also take up exercise or walking, avoid junk food, etc. You might want to read this book ....
    The Vitamin Cure for Alcoholism: How to Protect Against and Fight Alcoholism Using Nutrition and Vitamin Supplementation: Abram Hoffer, Andrew W. Saul: 9781591202547: Amazon.com: Books

    or just stifle my "gifts?" Maybe they are the same thing.
    If you have a psychic talent, it ieven more important you avoid alcohol, smoking pot and get some medical help to come off anti-depressants ...these will completely stifle your life ....you need to return to the (written) goals you had in previous years and become a hero, again

    Nothing seems to stop the empathy, but the anti-depressants seem to help me cope better and not try and "escape" as much. Does anyone else have this problem? Am I normal? Does anyone understand? I have searched the Internet, but I have not found help on how to control or deal with these feelings. This sounds awful but how do I stop caring? How do i stop feeling? How do I let go so I can live finally?
    Empathy isn't a weakness, it is a strength... but you will become bogged down if you empathize with people who are being negative. Sometimes others are going to choose to be negative and nothing you can do or say will change it. When unreceptive become a silent hero and say little at all, not easy to do ... when they eventually become more positive vocally empathize and support that .. in doing so not only will you help them, it will create a much more favourable environment for yourself. You don't need to lose your empathy, everyone needs positive empathy around themselves to thrive.

    Good luck.

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    • #3
      Understanding

      Hi. Empathy can be a great asset, in that you can use it to strengthen yourself and your social interactions. But it is also painful. I think the depression can come from many things, but I find it often relates a lot to how I perceive or respond to the information I receive. If I put a value judgment on it, especially a negative one, or if I become enveloped in the negative emotions (sadness, trauma, fear, etc) , then depression can be intensified. There are studies that show that most people focus on the negative in their lives. We are hard-wired to pay more attention to the negative and traumatic. It helped our species survive. But this can also be a challenge for empathetic people because now you not only feel your trauma, but the trauma of others. You experiences their thoughts, emotions, insecurities, judgments, etc. This can be truly painful. But you have to find a way to respond to it, to make sense of it, that works for you and helps you to accept your sensitivities. You find a way to live that enables you to handle and cope with them. You find good support for helping you in your times of difficulty. I always knew I was sensitive, but for years I did not realize I was picking up the thoughts and states of others...I always assumed they were mine. My husband would be confused because one moment I was acting in a particular way, and then it was like I was possessed by something else. After observing a myself and paying more attention, I know when emotions or states of mind are mine or someone else's. If a thought, emotion, or experience does not match what I was previously feeling, or what I normally feel in a particular situation, then I am immediately suspicious and start looking around for the source. And since I stopped reacting to emotions/thoughts, the source always shows itself at some point, often sooner than I am prepared for. I find patience and stillness to be the most important attributes that help me handle my empathy (and telepathy) day to day. I also am very indifferent to these abilities also. I do not try and do anything with them. I just observe them and use the knowledge whenever it seems appropriate. As for dealing with the pain (and the pain is inevitable), you find healthy ways of handling it. And you find better ways of understanding and making sense of your abilities. You do not pass judgments against yourself, instead you love yourself and appreciate all that is you.

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