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  • Empath observed

    I'd like to preface this with what might be the obvious. I'm not a scientist. I have not wandered/stumbled into this place randomly, though.

    I'm driven by curiosity about experiences I have both had myself, and seen/witnessed my husband have. There were no double-blind studies or peer reviewed research publications attached to these experiences. In that corner, I got "nuthin'."

    So, experience is what fired my curiosity, not some made-for-TV drivel, or new age book I read. And, it might be good, although fairly meaningless, to assert here that I am not making this up, or exaggerating.

    I have NO ideas what mechanism is behind the events. (There are many events.) I do know that they happened. And to me, they defy any rational explanation. This, however, does not stop them from becoming part of my truth. It's either that, or concluding both I and my husband are delusional. There are no other signs of that, by the way.

    My husband discovered only recently that what he is, is an empath. We hadn't really heard this term before he found it someplace online. But it fits. I will describe one of many experiences he had that I was witness to. He has learned, over time to always tell someone when he is hit with this. He does this before he does much else. It helps him come to grips with these things when he has corroboration.

    He feels other peoples' emotions on occasion. Sometimes they overwhelm him while he is sleeping and he wakes up. Sometimes, the trigger seems to be a photograph - even of a stranger. But he doesn't just understand how they are feeling. He feels how they are feeling.

    I will describe one such event. He was online, looking around Facebook. He was chatting in comments on the page of a friend from England. This was mild, social chatting - nothing serious at all. Another man put a comment up. This man was someone my husband had never seen or known of before this comment. The comment was also light.

    He told me (about 15 minutes after it happened), that in the instant he saw this man's tiny photograph, he was slammed with grief, resentment, despair, and anger. If affected him so deeply, he told me he was not able to speak to tell me until he could get a grip on it. He said he had never felt such an overwhelming or odd combination of those emotions before in that way.

    As he told me, he was having trouble keeping from tearing up. My husband is NOT an overly emotional guy. He doesn't cry very often. I had noticed that he had been rather quiet for a while, but hadn't paid attention, really. I asked him what he was going to do. He told me (as he always does) that he would write to this man and ask him if this was how he was feeling. Long ago, my husband stopped worrying about looking weird, because when this kind of stuff happens, he is always right.

    The man replied in broken English (He was from Indonesia) that yes, indeed, he was feeling those things very strongly. His life had taken a terrible turn and those emotions made sense. The two of them wrote back and forth most of the night. What my husband usually can bring to the table is just the realization that someone does actually know how they feel. At least this is what most people tell him. And this can be useful to the person who is suffering. Most of his empath stuff, you see, seems to be centered around suffering, sadness, grief, or panic. (Unfortunately for my husband.) This other man was suicidal by his own admission. At least this didn't happen.

    After discussions, my husband finds that this shared emotion will slowly fade. He is able to recognize that while he is experiencing it like a first hand thing, it is not really his. Underneath this shared traumatic event, he is happy. Weird stuff.

    So, after numerous times that I have been a witness to this (which had the reinforcement of the affected person's corroboration and my knowledge of it BEFORE he contacted the other person), how does one explain the mechanism that this happens?

    I have given you only one instance. As I said, there are more. Some less dramatic, but others also quite unexplainable by logical means.

    So, where do you go with that?


  • #2
    Interesting story and experience.
    I can assume that have such experiences must be quite tough on your husband.
    Mirror Neurons are something that are mentioned when it comes to empathy.
    It are mentioned here >> Mirror neuron - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    I dont think Mirror neurons would be a full explanation for his case though.
    The full impact of emotions seem a bit strong for being just of that.
    I know for minor incidents in my life whereas I see someone hurt themselves I use to get that sudden energetic charge in me, like an electric shock but not affecting the muscles or tendons like an electric one would do. Those cases of mine I would say derive from Mirror Neurons, but one cant be sure.

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    • #3
      Thank you, Pollux. I had not heard of mirror neurons before. I looked at the links, and now I have learned of something new.

      I'm thinking, as you mentioned, that they wouldn't be responsible in this case. There was no observed emotion. There was no proximity, nor any prior knowledge of the person. And if this means anything, this person was across a great geological distance, although connected through Facebook.

      My idea of empathy differs from my understanding of the term "empath."

      I can understand an empathic response to other peoples' displayed emotions, or even to imagined emotions of others. I do that. I think most of us do, unless we're sociopaths.

      This is quite different.

      Comment


      • #4
        First of all, thank you for sharing this anectode with us, which is indeed pretty intriguing and puzzling, in fact, it's the first time that I read of something like it (and I consider myself to be well informed about all sort of "psi related" phenomenons).

        In few words. this the class of stories which I love because they defy any kind of mundane and "logical" explanation that most pseudo skeptics love to impose and make you swallow (even when they don't match with the facts).

        Like Pollux I can't give you a precise, reliable and thorough explanation of what could be the cause or mecanism of your husband's ability, but if that have happened many times and with a high rate of accuracy (and in non "face to face" communication channels such as Internet like the experience you just shared) there could be something interesting and non-mundane happening.

        It's curious that there aren't any studies and experiments about the matter, because it's really fascinating and I think that it would answer many questions raised by it (even if the answers result to be mundane, it would bring a reliable explanation, which is what Science should always do).

        PD: I'm glad that the Indonesia's guy was open and polite to your husband, many times when you feel that somebody is having a bad time and you try to give them a hand they become hostile and rudely rejects your offer.

        Regards!
        Last edited by Sextus70; February 19th, 2012, 10:01 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you, Sextus70. My husband used to either just ride out these emotional hurricanes until they left; suffering in silence. Now he has learned to always get confirmation. This possibly helps him as much as it does the person whose emotions he is feeling.

          Oddly, I think there is only one time where he contacted and the person denied everything. (No! Everything's fine!! kinda thing) It did his head in. LOL Much later, this person wrote to him and confessed that she was so overcome and overwhelmed by her problems, she didn't wish them to be known, and was freaked out that he could know what she was feeling. At the time, he was puzzled.

          I have another experience that was pretty convincing. Mind you, he has minor ones quite often, but they don't hold as much verifiable accuracy. (Feeling the grief and shock of a friend who lost someone, for instance)

          We have a very good friend, both online and in real life. She is someone who visits with us in our home frequently. We often communicate with her online as well, because she lives a distance away. One evening, both of us were chatting with her- goofing around and having fun. It was her birthday. She was planning a fun evening that evening, going to a concert with her husband and out for dinner. We said goodbye online, wishing her a great evening. So, for all we knew, she was out having a great night.

          We had gone to bed and were sound asleep. Around midnight or so (I forget the time), my husband woke me. He told me he felt panic, nausea, and deep sadness. Fear. I asked him if he had had a bad dream. He said, no. He told me "this isn't mine, but I'm feeling it. I think I might need to be sick."
          I asked him who it was, and at that time he didn't know. He told me he needed to "scan" his friends and think. I didn't know exactly what he meant by scan.

          What he did was go downstairs and open his computer and look at the faces of his friends in Facebook. No idea why. But he was down there maybe only a few minutes and he came back up and shook me again to tell me he knew who it was-our friend having the birthday. I said that makes zero sense.

          He immediately wrote to her to ask her what was going on. Oddly, when she got his email, she was writing to him to tell him. Her husband had chosen this occasion to tell her he was leaving her. Nice.

          ALL of these feelings were exactly what she said she was feeling.

          I can witness to the fact that these things happened in the sequence I have written. I may have times wrong. But definitely, he told me about it before he and our friend contacted each other. And I'd say it took him a few days to shake the feelings, despite knowing their source.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you, OC68. I actually got his "The LInk" book, and read it. It was pretty fascinating.

            My husband doesn't go out of his way to try to do this. In fact, he avoids it by mostly dealing with it only when he has it come to him.

            I'm pretty certain he wouldn't be voluntarily trying to 'heal' anyone. He does help people often. It's part of his nature.

            RE: The Link:
            I read how the poltergeist stuff happened to MM when he was a young kid. It was connected to him. Oddly we have had some instances of physical things happening here. Not for a while, though. But we had some inexplicable instances involving objects that we put down to our house being "haunted." I know this all sounds like a big mess of fantasy, but almost all of my experiences with this kind of thing really began after I married this guy. LOL I keep saying, I consider myself mostly a psychic dud. But my eyes work, and I have seen lots of things that do not make sense in any rational manner.

            I'm living with him, so my eyes are getting opened. I guess observing is almost as good as first hand experience, but I say that as a consolation to my un-psychic self.

            My take now is this: I do not know what the heck is the underlying mechanism. I want to. But, I couldn't tell you how a lot of things work, like cell phones, automobiles - even refrigerator magnets. I am just not very technical minded. So, the big one was that this stuff does happen. Secondary is how.

            Comment


            • #7
              Gizmo,
              Your husband truly has a special gift, although it's not how most people would think of a gift (because of how it affects him negatively).

              It's possible on the soul level he may have chosen to incarnate for this purpose - to reach out to people exactly when they need a compassionate ear, especially when they haven't told anyone else or are afraid to call a help line.

              It seems the process is not easy on your husband physically or emotionally, but just think, if your husband's intuition to reach out to someone whose pain he feels saves even just one life, it's all worth it.

              I hope that maybe the more he follows his inner guidance to act on his gift as an empath, the easier it will get for him in time as he becomes accustomed to it.

              Thanks for sharing!

              Comment


              • #8
                Welcome to my world.

                Originally posted by Gizmo View Post
                I'd like to preface this with what might be the obvious. I'm not a scientist. I have not wandered/stumbled into this place randomly, though.

                I'm driven by curiosity about experiences I have both had myself, and seen/witnessed my husband have. There were no double-blind studies or peer reviewed research publications attached to these experiences. In that corner, I got "nuthin'."

                So, experience is what fired my curiosity, not some made-for-TV drivel, or new age book I read. And, it might be good, although fairly meaningless, to assert here that I am not making this up, or exaggerating.

                I have NO ideas what mechanism is behind the events. (There are many events.) I do know that they happened. And to me, they defy any rational explanation. This, however, does not stop them from becoming part of my truth. It's either that, or concluding both I and my husband are delusional. There are no other signs of that, by the way.

                My husband discovered only recently that what he is, is an empath. We hadn't really heard this term before he found it someplace online. But it fits. I will describe one of many experiences he had that I was witness to. He has learned, over time to always tell someone when he is hit with this. He does this before he does much else. It helps him come to grips with these things when he has corroboration.

                He feels other peoples' emotions on occasion. Sometimes they overwhelm him while he is sleeping and he wakes up. Sometimes, the trigger seems to be a photograph - even of a stranger. But he doesn't just understand how they are feeling. He feels how they are feeling.

                I will describe one such event. He was online, looking around Facebook. He was chatting in comments on the page of a friend from England. This was mild, social chatting - nothing serious at all. Another man put a comment up. This man was someone my husband had never seen or known of before this comment. The comment was also light.

                He told me (about 15 minutes after it happened), that in the instant he saw this man's tiny photograph, he was slammed with grief, resentment, despair, and anger. If affected him so deeply, he told me he was not able to speak to tell me until he could get a grip on it. He said he had never felt such an overwhelming or odd combination of those emotions before in that way.

                As he told me, he was having trouble keeping from tearing up. My husband is NOT an overly emotional guy. He doesn't cry very often. I had noticed that he had been rather quiet for a while, but hadn't paid attention, really. I asked him what he was going to do. He told me (as he always does) that he would write to this man and ask him if this was how he was feeling. Long ago, my husband stopped worrying about looking weird, because when this kind of stuff happens, he is always right.

                The man replied in broken English (He was from Indonesia) that yes, indeed, he was feeling those things very strongly. His life had taken a terrible turn and those emotions made sense. The two of them wrote back and forth most of the night. What my husband usually can bring to the table is just the realization that someone does actually know how they feel. At least this is what most people tell him. And this can be useful to the person who is suffering. Most of his empath stuff, you see, seems to be centered around suffering, sadness, grief, or panic. (Unfortunately for my husband.) This other man was suicidal by his own admission. At least this didn't happen.

                After discussions, my husband finds that this shared emotion will slowly fade. He is able to recognize that while he is experiencing it like a first hand thing, it is not really his. Underneath this shared traumatic event, he is happy. Weird stuff.

                So, after numerous times that I have been a witness to this (which had the reinforcement of the affected person's corroboration and my knowledge of it BEFORE he contacted the other person), how does one explain the mechanism that this happens?

                I have given you only one instance. As I said, there are more. Some less dramatic, but others also quite unexplainable by logical means.

                So, where do you go with that?

                I guess the title tells you where I come from. I used to be a reasonable grounded sort but since a profound mystical experience last year I find myself in a new body. I am told the term for what I experience is clairsentience. I experience other people's reality as physical sensations in my own. So rather than experiencing their actual emotion, I feel the physical effect of their emotion within my own body. I also feel the sensations they are experiencing as part of living in the physical world - for instance water drops falling on their face while they are swimming backstroke. Like your husband, nighttime is a common time for this to happen. In part this is because I live in NZ and often I am 'in body' with people in a different time zone to me. Generally these experiences happen when I'm in a relaxed state and are preceeded by a sense of aura. Sometimes I am thinking about the person concerned when I go 'in body' but my belief is that this is presentience rather than an ability to will the experience or choose who I am visiting.

                Here is one example of an email I sent:

                2.43am

                I was awake tonight at 12.30am and felt my body change. I felt the echo of a racing heart, tingling in my feet, an sensation of someone else’s pain in my right foot, sensations radiating from my heart to my back and deep agitation (as of someone else’s emotions felt as a physical condition)..... Some time later once again the echo of a pumping heart and stress. There were moments when I felt a sense of transformation happening and others of panic. The feelings started to recede slowly after 2.00am. I’ve got up to write this email and let you know what I’ve been experiencing.

                This was the response:

                Pretty close match to what I was feeling. I am not sure how to translate the time difference. In any case, yes, the racing heart, the feet tingle but even more a numbness especially of the right foot, which is fairly constant. Sorry if I was somehow transmitting this to you. One having it is enough, though I realize it implies a sympathetic connection. You should protect yourself, though I am sure you know that.

                This sort of experience happens most days for me now. The intensity of the experience depends on how grounded I am. I don't choose when or with whom it happens but there are some predictable aspects. For people I visit regularly there are characteristic symptoms - it might be a fast heartbeat or hot feet, tension and stiffness in the arm muscles, breath holding etc. For me also a visual image seems important if the person is a living. Yes, the other side of the experience for me is the experience of the internal world of what I can only term spirits (I don't know how the world works so I have to rely on culturally loaded terminology to explain something which is as yet unexplainable).

                Tell your husband he is breaking through the shared delusion that most of the world succumbs to. That delusion may have an evolutionary utility but it is not the truth. The greater truth in my opinion is that we are all connected to each other in a way that transends our physical bodies. I would be interested to hear more about your husband's experiences. Does he experience psychic sensitivity in other ways? Is he sensitive to phases of the moon? Has he always had this or has something turned the circuit board on for him as it has for me?

                The other thing I would comment about is the importance of being believed. It has been by far the hardest aspect of this for me. Too many people who have profound psychic or mystical experiences deny them for fear of being seen as crazy, or because their world view does not provide the architectural scaffolding on which to hang the experience. I have read a great deal since then and have found it very helpful in synthesising a new model of reality to encompass what I've experienced. I believe how I am is how we all used to be long ago - Jung spoke to Ist nation peoples in his travels through America in 1925. They described how they think 'with their stomachs' unlike white people who think with their heads. Jung thought they were describing some intestinal experience, but as soon as I read this I knew what was meant. Ask your husband if he thinks with his stomach.

                Comment


                • #9
                  A vulnerable state.

                  Originally posted by Gizmo View Post
                  Thank you, OC68. I actually got his "The LInk" book, and read it. It was pretty fascinating.

                  My husband doesn't go out of his way to try to do this. In fact, he avoids it by mostly dealing with it only when he has it come to him.

                  I'm pretty certain he wouldn't be voluntarily trying to 'heal' anyone. He does help people often. It's part of his nature.

                  RE: The Link:
                  I read how the poltergeist stuff happened to MM when he was a young kid. It was connected to him. Oddly we have had some instances of physical things happening here. Not for a while, though. But we had some inexplicable instances involving objects that we put down to our house being "haunted." I know this all sounds like a big mess of fantasy, but almost all of my experiences with this kind of thing really began after I married this guy. LOL I keep saying, I consider myself mostly a psychic dud. But my eyes work, and I have seen lots of things that do not make sense in any rational manner.

                  I'm living with him, so my eyes are getting opened. I guess observing is almost as good as first hand experience, but I say that as a consolation to my un-psychic self.

                  My take now is this: I do not know what the heck is the underlying mechanism. I want to. But, I couldn't tell you how a lot of things work, like cell phones, automobiles - even refrigerator magnets. I am just not very technical minded. So, the big one was that this stuff does happen. Secondary is how.
                  Hello again Gizmo. Reading another comment you have put I felt the need to respond further. Again language is a problem. If I can use vocab that comes from particular model it doesn't mean I subscibe to the whole philosophy. So if I use some New Age terms, that is not my take on life. It just means these are the most useful descriptors I can find. Like you I am still working out a model to make everything fit into.

                  As a follow-on to my earlier comment I don't feel the experience of being clair sensitive to be inherently dangerous, although it can be very draining physically and emotionally. I am aware from what I have been through that we don't all live the same distance from the portal and I must say this is a good thing. The fact that I had a couple of very grounded people beside me enabled me to come back from the experience I went through last year. So first of all lets have a big clap for grounded people because people like me (and your husband) really need people like you around them. So no more self-deprecating comments for not being sufficiently psychic. You are exactly the way you are meant to be. I think its very important though to understand that the fact that your husband does experience these things means he is more open to a whole range of different types of experience - unfortunately not all of these types of experience are safe...and yes I speak from my own personal reality. You have noticed increased "activity" since you met your husband. People like us seem to attract attention. What is going on in real-world terms I don't know - maybe quantum entanglement or universal unconsciousness or some such thing will one day explain these events without a spiritual model, but my own experience left me with a profound sense of there being a spiritual world. It is the model that proves most useful for explaining the experiences I have had. Getting to the point - it is important to appreciate that there is a vulnerability that goes with the sensitivity your husband has. The boundary between worlds is more permeable. The experiences I have are a priviledge and I would never choose to be without that sensitivity, but I also know I have to keep myself safe. If you are noticing increased 'happenings' its time to disconnect. I suggest you play an active role in facilitating this. When I become very open I experience the world as though I have no skin. Everything is sensation and my cognitive/rational side has a secondary role as observer. I am more sensitive in every aspect. So in this state I am more vulnerable spiritually and more vulnerable in real world terms. One is indicative of the other. In 'reading' your husband this is complicated somewhat by the way our culture discourages men from expressing emotion, but you are close enough to know what is going on at a deeper level. I'm not saying be afraid - he is being who he is, but do look for patterns and understand your role as anchor if he needs it.

                  As an aside, I have wondered what would happen if two clairsentients made connection with each other at the same time. Would it be like light bouncing between mirror-glass buildings? An interesting thought...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    It sounds like your mystical experience last year was a life-changer! In my husband's case, it seems to be something he has always been able to experience. I think for a time, he didn't recognize what it was, or why it threw him.

                    He is interesting because he seems to be less open when he feels well. When his physical well being is impaired, he seems to open a floodgate to the psychic stuff. Does this happen to you? I'm not sure that this is the norm for this sort of thing.

                    With the emapthic things, he tells me he actually feels the feelings of others. They might be physical like nausea. Or they might be emotional, like fear or panic. He can now differentiate between their emotions and his own, which run underneath. He can observe there are two different emotions concurrent, but he still feels them as if they are his. I'm not sure this makes sense.

                    I think he would argue about safety. He is confident that he is not in any danger because he truly doesn't believe in evil. I've been trying to discuss negativity or chaotic experiences with him, but since he has had zero experience with these sorts of things, he remains skeptical. He sort of runs on what he has experienced, and stays with that.

                    Plus, he seems mostly able now to shut it out. i think it might be because he is feeling better and better.

                    I actually pasted your posts into an email to him. (he's sitting 3 feet away. I know. Weird! ) He said he'll read it and possibly reply. When he does, I'll send it to you in a private message.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Gizmo.

                      Interesting stuff. It would be interesting to compare notes with your husband. Yes, to say my experience was a life changer is the understatement of the year. It took me to my limits in every sense of the word. But an experience like that you can never regret nor can you be who you were before. I am finding the new me - as the postscript on my email says - I have gone out to look for myself. If I return before I get back please ask me to wait...lol.

                      Interesting the differences between us. If someone I am on board with is chuckling I can feel little bursts of energy and the emotional echo of the humour but I don't feel like laughing. If someone feels a rush of love I feel the emotional gush like an energy rush from the heart. With terror I feel the tension, palpatations, breath holding and know its terror but I don't myself feel terrified.

                      With the relationship between psychic connection and physical wellness mine works the other way. Being connected drains my battery and I become physically tired and weak. I have a rash which is a barometer. If it flares up I am doing too much work. I also lose weight. You can tell by looking at me - I can look like I have been through a major illness. I have to work to get grounded to stay safe. Full moon is a time when the connection is heightened. I'm extremely sensitive to energies round me - so my husband and I both keep note of the date.

                      Re your husband's safety, if he feels safe that's great. I know people like us can lose themselves but trust your husband's instincts with this. I'm not sure I believe in evil either but when you get too open stuff can sure happen.

                      If it is useful I would be interested to hear from your husband. My email is in my profile if this is helpful. Some things are best not put on a public forum.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Wow! I can most definitely relate to this. The emotions can sometimes be so overwhelming. One example was when I had been giving some newborn baby clothes by my partners friends from work. I decided to keep a couple of things which seemed brand new and I'd already bought bub so many clothes. One time, I was changing my baby into one of the tops that was given to us, when I was overwhelmed with complete sadness, anger and fear...which worried me. I had also spotted a droplet of faded, washed blood inside of the top. I questioned my partner about this, who then questioned his friend from work about it. My partner knows I feel emotions and didn't think twice when I'd raised my concerns. Anyway, the friend had said that their then baby fell off the highchair! For some reason the straps weren't clicked into place thoroughly. Luckily, it was on the lowest setting, but the baby hit her chin which started to bleed slightly. I'm still unsure about this story. My instincts tell me it wasn't the truth. The friend no longer works with my partner, so I couldn't find anything else out. I'm the kind of person wlthat if a child's safety is involved, I'll jump the gun and wouldn't care if I was wrong or not. I have many examples to tell but I'leavs it at just one. Oh, another time I felt an overwhelming sense of fear late at night and started to cry for no reason! I called most of my close friends and relatives to ask if they were ok. All were fine but I couldn't get through to one friends phone. That friend confirmed to me the very next day that they had a gun pointed at them the same time I felt the emotion and started to cry.

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